“The privilege of a lifetime is to become who you truly are.”
– C.G. Jung
Life can feel overwhelming at times. We might feel disconnected, unfulfilled, or constantly at struggle with ourselves. One possible reason for this could be that we’re not living authentically — at least not in every area of our lives. Whether it’s at work or in personal relationships, we may find ourselves straying from what truly aligns with our values, beliefs, and unique qualities. But what does it really mean to live authentically, and how can we get back on track?
What Does Living Authentically Really Mean?
Living authentically means aligning your life with your natural strengths, beliefs, values, and preferences, without feeling the need to conform to the norms or expectations set by society or the people around you. It’s about being true to yourself — both in the big decisions and the small moments.
For example, let me share a personal story. Growing up, I always dreaded attending social gatherings. Being around large groups of people drained me, leaving me exhausted and overwhelmed. But, to avoid being labeled as “anti-social,” I continued attending parties and events, despite how it made me feel. It wasn’t until much later in life that I realized I am simply an introvert. I recharge in solitude and get energized by meaningful one-on-one interactions, not large crowds. The moment I embraced my truth and began to communicate my boundaries honestly with others, I felt liberated. Not only did I stop trying to fit a mold that didn’t suit me, but I also avoided misunderstandings with friends and family who had previously wondered about my reluctance to socialize.
Are We Living Authentically?
Living authentically is a deeply personal choice. No one else can define what authenticity looks like for you, and the best way to assess this is to look inward. Are you satisfied with your life? Do you feel fulfilled? These are clear indicators of how authentically you are living. Some people find it easy to be authentic in personal relationships but struggle to do so in professional settings or in social environments.
Why Do We Struggle to Live Authentically?
The reasons for struggling with authenticity can be complex, and often stem from the way we were conditioned growing up. Think about it: as children, we naturally express our emotions. A baby cries when hungry, and smiles when it finds something amusing. These actions are instinctive — there’s no filter, no concern for what others think. However, as we grow older, we begin to notice that certain behaviors bring us more attention, affection, or approval from those around us. Slowly, we start to mold our actions to meet these expectations, seeking love and recognition. The desire to please others can become so ingrained that we lose touch with who we truly are.
A good example of this is the “social media persona” many people create. In today’s world, vulnerability is often seen as a way to connect more deeply with others. We’ve been conditioned to believe that showing our flaws and telling our trauma stories will make us more relatable. The issue is, this can quickly turn into a marketing gimmick. Many influencers and marketers strategically craft stories of hardship and triumph, not necessarily because they’re being authentic, but because they know it will engage their audience. The result is that we end up thinking these people are authentic, but in reality, they are just using vulnerability as a tool to sell products or gain followers.
How Do We Spot Inauthenticity?
Being mindful and observant is key to spotting inauthenticity. One of the biggest red flags is when people follow trends simply because it’s “what’s selling” or “what’s popular.” Inauthentic people often make decisions based on what’s trending in the market rather than based on personal values or beliefs. Genuine people, on the other hand, stick to what feels true to them, even if it goes against the grain.
Another major reason we struggle to live authentically is a lack of self-awareness. If we don’t know what matters most to us — our core values, strengths, or passions — we are more likely to follow the crowd or rely on external validation to define who we should be. This can lead to a life filled with regret and frustration.
The Trap of Success Stories: Are We Following the Right Path?
In our culture, success is often measured by stories of people like Warren Buffet, Jeff Bezos, Bill Gates, or Oprah. We look up to them, fascinated by their journey, and sometimes, we try to replicate their success. But here’s the catch: their paths are unique to them, shaped by their personal circumstances, resources, and opportunities. Simply following their blueprint for success can leave us feeling lost and disappointed because we don’t have the same starting point, skills, or context.
Instead of blindly following someone else’s formula for success, ask yourself what success means to you.
Success is All About Following Your Own Path
It’s not about rejecting all advice, but it’s about being selective and mindful. Yes, successful people often have valuable insights, but following their advice without considering your unique situation can lead you down a path that doesn’t align with your true self. Success is a step-by-step process, and you can learn from people who are just a few steps ahead of you — not someone who’s decades into their journey.
Take advice from someone who’s closer to where you are and has faced similar challenges. The person who’s been running their business for two years will be able to offer more practical, relevant advice on “how to start a business” than someone who’s been in the game for twenty years and has forgotten the early struggles.
How Do You Know If You Are Living Authentically?
The simplest way to assess if you’re living authentically is by how you feel. If you are constantly stressed, exhausted, and disconnected, it could be a sign that you’re living in a way that doesn’t honor your true self. On the other hand, if you feel aligned with your values and passions, if you’re waking up every day with excitement and purpose, you’re likely living authentically.
Living authentically means following your passion, understanding your uniqueness, and expressing yourself fully in the world. When you’re authentic, you will feel more confident, more connected, and more successful in the long run.
Is It Possible to Live 100% Authentically?
While it’s ideal to live as authentically as possible, life isn’t always so straightforward. You’ll likely face situations where you feel the need to compromise on your values or step outside your comfort zone. This is okay, as long as you know what’s non-negotiable for you.
For example, one of my non-negotiable values is kindness to animals. I would never participate in any activity that harms animals, no matter how big the reward is. Other values, like the need for privacy or a certain level of integrity, are also non-negotiable for me. However, there are other areas of life, like enjoying a spontaneous ice cream with friends(even though I don’t prefer eating sugar) , where I can bend my own rules in the spirit of connection and love.
By identifying your non-negotiable values and aligning your life with them, you can live more authentically while still finding balance in your relationships with others.
Final Thoughts
Living authentically isn’t about perfection. It’s about being true to yourself, embracing your uniqueness, and setting boundaries that honor your values. As you cultivate self-awareness and confidence, you’ll begin to live a life that feels truly aligned with who you are, rather than chasing someone else’s version of success. So take the time to reflect on what authenticity means for you and start making choices that honor your true self and lead you towards fulfillment in life.
Ready to live more authentically?
Start by identifying your core values and passions today. Let them guide your choices and watch how your life transforms. If you need guidance on embracing your true self, I’m here to support you on your journey! Let’s connect and create a path that feels right for you.
